Leah

"Celebrate Life"

Today we celebrate the 5th year of having our sweet beautiful blondie, Leah. Leah is our 5th child. (I am the 5th child in my family too.) I found out we were expecting Leah right before we went to DisneyWorld. No wild rides for me - a lot of snacking and taking breaks. 1st Trimester and DisneyWorld don't really mix well. But I LOVE going to Disney with my family. Can't wait to plan another trip there, but we will have to. All that fun requires money - Plus, we don't have a vehicle that fits all of us to drive that far. Ha!

When I found out I was pregnant, I was a little surprised. I wanted to be clever with telling Tommy.

First, I tried putting a hot dog bun in the oven. "Bun in the Oven." Well, Tom came home - it was Friday so we do pizza and a movie with our children - and Tom brought in the pizza and went over to the oven to bake it. I stood there as he opened the door, pulled out the plate with a bun on it, he placed it on the counter, and put the pizza in. Hello? Nothing. He didn't even question it.

Second, while on the couch I put my feet on his lap. The socks I was wearing said "Expecting Mommy" all over them. He didn't notice.

Third, I went upstairs to our bathroom mirror. Now, we used to play this game called Mad Gab. You would say words out loud, that when said together, would sound like another word or phrase. We did this on our mirror a lot, so it didn't surprise Tommy when he saw a note on the mirror. This is what I wrote:

Whee harp Reagan ant.

Tommy struggled with it for a few minutes. I had snuck into our room to watch him. He kept saying it and I was trying very hard to control my laughter. I could "hear" him saying the correct sentence, but he couldn't.

Now say those 4 words aloud and blend them together and you get:

We are pregnant.

Finally he got it. And Tommy's face was priceless!

Leah is a sweetheart. She loves her family very much. She loves to sing and dance and play dress up. Leah used to be sort of a "tom-boy" until her older sister, Rachel got a hold of her. Rachel was very excited to get a sister. Someone to play dolls with and to dress up. Rachel taught Leah the fun in getting pretty with hair and clothes. 

Leah has beautiful blonde hair that she got from her grandma - and the most amazing blue eyes. She always has a smile on and is ready to play.

Happy Birthday to our "Stinkerbell."

7 weeks

"Faith is Hope realized."

Tommy and I went back today for another ultrasound. Baby measured 1 week older and baby's heartbeat was good. I guess the week before it was a bit low and they were concerned, but no one told me. Our doctor said that it looks like a good pregnancy right now, but we should still probably not share our news with too many others yet. Everyone in the office seems very cautious around me, which actually makes me feel more nervous.

So the only ones that will hear of our news are those that read my blog. And once you know, all I ask is that you pray for good health for me and my baby.

I will go back in 2 weeks to listen to my baby's amazing heartbeat.

7 weeks - I am growing!

6 weeks

 "Babies are amazing!"

Yesterday Tom met me at my doctor's office. I had an ultrasound scheduled.

The first thing the tech said was that I looked like I was only 5 weeks pregnant. My heart sank. I expected to be a couple weeks later than that, so I figured the pregnancy had stopped. Been there before.

So after a few measurements, she told me she wanted to do an internal ultrasound. She let me visit the restroom first. As soon as I shut the door, I cried. Too many emotions going through me. I went back in the room expecting the worst. The tech started doing more measurements and asked me to be very still. After a couple of minutes she turned the screen towards me and Tom. "There's your baby's heartbeat." And there on the screen was our baby. The size of a grain of rice with an amazing heartbeat. The tech handed me a picture and said "Congratulations!"

Tom and I just looked at each other. When the tech left the room Tom told me that if he had ever questioned this child, the look on my face when I thought we had miscarried made him realize just how much we need this baby to be ok.

We went back to the waiting room to wait for our appointment with my doctor. We got out our calendars. We were puzzled at the timing. How could this be? Only 5 - 6 weeks?

When we got into the room with my doctor, we talked to him about the date. He said 2 things. First, the possibility that our baby wasn't growing. Second, we were wrong about when we got pregnant. (Which we did figure out how we could have gotten that wrong. Nursing a child can really throw your cycle way off! In fact, when we took that first test, we really might not have been pregnant yet.)

So next week we are going back for another ultrasound to see if our baby has grown.



6 weeks - my heart is beating



Roller Coaster Ride

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

I am on a roller coaster! Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to get off.

My bench has come into my dreams again...

This time, she got down. She ran to Him and took His hand. They walked to the beautiful garden behind the tall gate. She was happy. But then she heard someone crying. The next thing I saw was me sitting on the bench with my head in my hands. Then I felt her little arms go through my hair and wrap around my shoulders. I closed my eyes and held her tight.

He stood by and smiled.

I'm not sure what all of this means, but I like to write it down for myself to look back and read later.

 I went in for a 3rd test this morning. Tomorrow I will get the results. Friday's test looked great, but Monday's test looked iffy.

Faith. God has a plan for me.

And I saw something on my sister-in-law's FB wall.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her." ~ Author Unknown

Love it!

10-10-10

"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."

It is 10-10-10!

Have you ever had someone come up to you and say something to you that was exactly what you needed to hear? I feel like I got a "message" today. The 9 of us went to mass this morning. We sat in the back this time. I was trying to get everyone settled before I headed downstairs to help teach Children's Liturgy. I'm not sure why, but I really felt like people were looking at us. We did have a very long line of chairs set up for just our family. It might just be me, but if people look at us, and I can tell they're counting our children, and then they look at me without a smile - I feel like I am being judged. You would think I would feel comfortable at church, but even there I let it get to me sometimes. (I have heard things that have been said behind my back by "friends.") At the end of mass our children rushed to get into line for donuts. I was gathering our things and holding little Jakey when an older lady came up to me. She looked me straight in the eye, put her hand on my shoulder, and smiled. She told me my children are absolutely beautiful and so well-behaved. She said she knows people with one child who can't handle the one. She said she had always wanted 6,8, or 12 children - she had 3. She looked at me and said,
"God knows what He is doing."

I really appreciated this lady coming up to me. I needed to hear that. It was nice that my older children heard what she had to say too.

My "bench" again

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..."

So over a week ago I thought I might need to take a "test." Late, tired, just not feeling right. And even though I am sometimes very comfortable living in denial - my husband is not. He convinced me to just do it. We did. I was shaking the entire time and just stared at the test. Negative. There was a moment of relief followed by a moment of slight disappointment. My head verses my heart.

Then a couple of days ago I had a dream and saw my "bench" again. She was still there. A little girl with dark hair. She looked confused, a little lost. Jesus came over with a gentle smile on his face. He knealt down, put His hands around this little girl and carefully picked her up. He gently placed her on the bench. She just looked at Him and he continued to smile at her. It was as if He was telling her that everything was going to be ok.

And that was it.

Yesterday, I decided to take another test...

Respect Life

"Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed."

One step forward - two steps back.

Yesterday was a bit frustrating. I guess some people just refuse to understand. A little compassion would be nice. I get tired of trying to explain my 8 year old son's tics and behavior to adults that I have already explained it to. Sometimes I just want to tell them to "deal with it." Any frustrations they feel, can't compare to what my child is feeling.

My oldest also told me that there are kids making fun of his tics at school. He used to want everyone around him to know about his TS, but now he doesn't. His teachers all know, but he doesn't want all of his classmates to know. Maybe he doesn't want to be known as the kid with TS. He still seems to be comfortable with who he is, but he is a high school teenager. Lots of changes. As a mom, I want to explain to these kids so hopefully they will stop mocking my son, but I will respect my son's wishes. I want him to see that he can trust me with his feelings.

Poor kid just found out he got another "hand-me-down" from me. He was looking a bit yellow to me - eyes, then skin. We got bloodwork done and found his bilirubin levels elevated - same as me. Looks like we both have Gilbert's Syndrome. Nothing to be too concerned about. Just need to try to not get overly stressed or tired.

This last Sunday was Respect Life Sunday. Father talked about accepting children, taking care of those who are sick and/or elderly. I liked where we sat. We usually sit up front when we go into the church, but this time we sat in the back - second row from the last. Behind us was a lady in a wheelchair who was being cared for by her husband. Next to them was an elderly couple who really enjoyed our children - especially Jacob. And a few more elderly people. Then there was our "big" family. Together, we were a good example of  "Respect Sunday."

I feel we are very blessed with all of our children - but I still really needed to hear Father's homily.