Cameron's Baptism

"One tiny hand to guide and hold. One tiny life to shape and mold.

Each child, a gift from God above. A symbol of his strength and love."

Our little baby boy, Cameron James, was baptized yesterday.

What a special day!

Our nephew and niece are his godparents.

Our Priest (Monsignor) did a "private" baptism for us.

I loved it!

We had the church - pretty much - to ourselves.

All of our children were invited to come up and stand near Cameron as he was baptized. I had tears in my eyes.

The moment was amazing.

Beautiful.

I loved holding our baby son and looking around to see family surrounding us as Father (Monsignor) Steve poured the holy water over Cameron James' little head. And he was such a good baby the whole time.

After, we took a lot of pictures!

Our son Noah was sure to tell our priest not to drop Cameron during the photos :o)

And to top it off, it was "Rosary Day." Cam's baptism was during the hours when the rosary was to be said by all who believe.

Once we left our church, we had a nice time back at our home.

We said a decade of the Rosary,

then continued the celebration with a late lunch, including cake, and some special gifts.

May God continue to bless Cameron and our family.

Getting ready!

Handsome Boy!

Children

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord."

Tom and I went shopping last night.

It was almost like a "date night" - something we haven't had in a long time -

but we had the youngest 2 with us.

We were in search of a Baptism outfit for Cameron.

We ended up at a store in our mall.

As we were leaving with Cameron's adorable little white suit, I had a flashback of when we only had 2 little boys.

Then Tom and I had a fun conversation about each of our children and the ways I told him we were expecting each one.

He wants me to write them down.

I told him I will use my other blog to do that.

I would love for our children to read those stories someday.

Each one of our children is a blessing.

We might not have planned for each one, but I am so glad God did.

Sometimes when I am holding our newest family member, I feel that God is smiling over me. He knows I am going to love His child.

I will give His child the love and care He wants for His child.

I do my best with our children.

We can't buy them everything they want, but we can buy what they need.

We can't give them each their own personal space at home, but we can give them a close bond and security with brothers and sisters.

Tom works long hours, but we are blessed he has a job that lets him provide for our family and allows me to stay home with our children.

This weekend our family will celebrate Cameron being Baptized.

We will have a "private" Baptism at our church on Saturday.

We are thankful that our priest will do this for us.

I love that this will allow our other children to be up close and really be a part of Cameron's Baptism. This also allows for our niece and nephew to be here - they are Cam's godparents.

Baptisms are done on Sundays at our church, but this Sunday is the annual Tourette Syndrome picnic. We are glad we will be able to go again this year. It is nice to meet up with other families who have TS.

It is good for our children to meet other children with TS, it is good for Tom and I to meet other parents, and I think it is good for others (esp. those newly diagnosed) to meet our son Brandon. I feel he is an inspiration to others. He handles his TS so well.

He is positive. He is strong. He is amazing.

I am looking forward to a wonderful weekend.

Cameron's Eyes

"I'm no leader. I do what I have to do. Sometimes people go with me."

We had a great weekend!

My "oldest" friend came to visit. We've been friends since 1st grade.

We've been through a lot together and it's amazing to now see our children hanging out together.

Our church's annual mass/picnic in the park was this weekend too.

Beautiful day!

The weather was perfect.

Our children had a lot of fun and we all ate very well.

A little "Noah-ism."

During mass our 9 yr old son Noah asked who was stronger, God or Zeus.

We told our priest that Noah was wondering about this.

He said that that was normal when a child is just learning about mythology.

I just smiled and said Yea...he's not.

Then we all laughed because sometimes it's just amazing what pops into Noah's head.

I am still in search of an eye doctor for Cameron.

I feel uncomfortable with the office we go to now.

I understand that what Cam has going on in his eyes is rare, but I feel we are wasting our time and money.

The doctor wants to see Cam every 2 to 3 weeks. And we spend more time in the waiting room than in the office with the doctor. The doctor peeks in Cam's eyes, says all looks good, then sends us home. When I ask a question - she doesn't seem to hear me. And when she does, her info is just what she has found on the internet. And some of her info is different than what I have read on the internet.

She did mention something about a blockage that could happen. She gave us drops to put in Cam's eyes if it should happen. All she said was that his eye would become very red and he would be in a lot of pain - put the drops in and call the office.

I would like a little more explanation than that.

I haven't been able to find any information about a "blockage" happening.

We just don't feel like we are getting the care our son needs.

We aren't getting any new information when we go in - no time is given to us for questions and answers.

So Tom and I decided that we would at least see if we can come in less often.

I am the one that saw the cysts first and I've been keeping my eye on them since Cam was born. I don't see any change.

I called and had to leave a message. I just said I'd like to cancel our next appointment and reschedule for when Cam is around 3 months old - the age the doctor said we could check Cam's vision.

I didn't hear anything so I called back to make sure they got my message.

The receptionist told me that Cam's file was put aside so they could ask the doctor if it was ok I was canceling the appointment.

Huh?

Later my doctor's assistant called me back. I told her what I was feeling and why I wanted to push the appointment back another month.

Wow! Did I get an earful of fear and guilt.

She said things about how this is my child, this is his vision, we don't know what is going to happen,....but it was totally up to me if I wanted to change the appointment date. I really shouldn't wait longer than 4 weeks though.

I went ahead and made the appointment for 4 weeks later.

Then I asked about my other children.

The doctor wants to see our other children's eyes - curiosity.

She has seen our boys (Brandon has the same thing, which I already told her) and now she had asked me if I was willing to bring our girls along. I asked if I should still bring my girls. The receptionist said yes if that is what the doctor wanted. Then she said I can give you the 9:00 and 9:15 appointments.

I asked if I'd be paying for the 2nd appointment too.

Yes.

Well, then no.

I again explained that this was a request from the doctor. I already brought all my boys in and wasn't charged.

The receptionist is not a very friendly lady. We clashed a little.

I was given back to the assistant.

The assistant told me that I can bring in my girls, but they will only be peeked at - no dilation, no vision check,...

I said, I know.

And after this lovely phone call I was thinking - what exactly am I being charged for when I bring Cameron in.

Are his eyes dilated? No.

Is his vision checked? No.

His eyes are peeked at and we are sent home. Hmmm....

I did find an old article online about cysts. I googled the name of the doctor who wrote it and found an office in NY he was associated with.

I emailed the office and a very kind doctor replied back to me.

I am hoping he will have some answers for me.

After talking to our eye doctor's assistant, I am filled with all the initial fears I had when Cam was born. I have so many unanswered questions.

But I am also filled with more strength and confidence.

I am learning more about Cameron's eyes on my own.

I only want what is best for Cameron and to find the correct answers,

even if it means going out of my "comfort zone."

I now know more of what I need and want for Cameron when it comes to finding him help.

I pray we find the right doctor for Cameron.

That is what is most important to me.

Yay Sarah

"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are only consequences."

Our little Sarah finally did it!

We have tried everything to get her to use the potty.

Every kind of bribe out there.

We would be at the store and she would see a Dora toy (Her absolute favorite character!) and we would tell her that we'd rather buy that for her than more diapers. She'd be excited and put it in the cart.

But by the end of our shopping, while standing in the checkout, Sarah would take the toy out of the cart and place it back on a shelf and just look at us with her beautiful brown eyes as if to say "Nah."

Sarah will be 4 years old in August and will be starting Preschool.

Yesterday, I finally found something worth using the potty.

Our street's 3rd annual fashion show.

There is a wonderful girl who lives up the street from us who puts this together for all of the children on our street.

While getting ready to go outside for the show I explained to Sarah that the "models" couldn't wear diapers.

She thought about it, cried a little about it, then went into the bathroom.

Soon her older sister came out yelling "She did it! Yay Sarah!"

We all congratulated Sarah and told her how proud of her we were.

She seemed pretty proud too.

(Did I mention that her younger brother already goes on the little potty once in awhile. A little pressure from that too I'm sure.)

So Sarah didn't wear a diaper as we went to the fashion show.

And what a show!

It took over an hour just to do all the girls' hair. We had many wonderful teenage girls over who helped get all the little girls ready. Hair, dress, and make up.

(Our 2 youngest boys were in it too.)

The children were naturals. Smiling, striking poses.

There were such huge smiles on the "runway."

So much fun!

I kept looking at these little girls thinking what a special memory this will be for them - and for the older girls who helped.

My husband got there in time to see most of the show. He was a little late because he stopped at the store to get Sarah a little gift for using the potty.

A little Dora purse.

Tom gave it to Sarah at the end of the fashion show.

Sarah was so excited to see the purse - she peed :o)

Hopefully Sarah will want to continue using the potty today.

Our 2nd oldest is having a great time on his Mission Trip.

He calls each night to say "goodnight" and to tell me about his day.

Yesterday he worked on the farm.

It was very hot outside and it was hard work,

but he is having a lot of fun with his group.

I am going in for my 6 week check-up today.

I can't believe my baby is almost 6 weeks old.

He loves to look around and smile at us.

He had his first tubby this week and he loved it.

Cameron is definitely a cuddler and he is blessed with love all around him.



Truth Never Changes

"Faith attracts the positive. Fear attracts the negative."

After writing some of my feelings down yesterday about truth,

our family went to mass.

Our priest happened to share a wonderful homily about truth.

"Truth does not change."

I thought this was such a powerful statement.

No matter how much people try to convince themselves

(and sometimes others as well)

 of something different - truth is truth.

Whether it is a simple diagreement between 2 people or society trying to convince people that something is acceptable when it really is not.

Tom went up to our priest and told him how much he liked the homily.

Our priest thanked Tom and told him to "Keep witnessing."

Cameron is now 5 weeks old.

When he was 5 weeks inside me, we saw his heart beating.

We knew I had life inside of me by seeing his little heart beating.

The heartbeat.

That is amazing.

That is beautiful.

That is life.

(Yes, I have experienced not seeing the heartbeat. I now believe that is the little girl who hugged me on my bench.)

Our 2nd oldest left for our church's Mission Trip this morning.

He is going to work on a farm repairing a barn and taking care of baby animals.

I pray that this is an incredible experience for him.

And I pray that I get through the week without crying too much.

Even though I have 7 others here to take care of, I feel a little "empty" when even 1 is not with me.

Cameron and I stayed for mass while we were at our church.

I am going to try and go to mass more often in the morning.

It was very peaceful.

I even had a good cry during the Our Father.

I handed over some emotional stress.

Last night was spent with a terrible migraine. I needed to let go.

And here is proof that children know too much these days.

While pregnant, we really thought we were having a girl.

We started to get our girls' bedroom ready for another daughter.

We hung up dragonfly hooks to hang their pj's on.

We hung up 4.

The other day I was helping our girlies get dressed. I looked at the hooks and said, "Oh. We have 4 hooks, but our baby is a boy."

Our 8 year old daughter Rachel said, "Well, you'll just have to have another baby."

I smiled and said, "Ok. You talk to Daddy about that one."

Rachel then stood up and said,

"Ok. I'll go ask Daddy if he wants to have sex with you."

Yikes!

Blondie CJ. First tubby yesterday :o)



Truth is...

"With lies you may get ahead in the world - but you may never go back."

Truth is...

I love my family.

When I have a moment of feeling alone, I know I am not.

This week we had some very negative things happen.

I am physically and emotionally tired from it all.

I somehow became very involved in a situation that didn't really involve me.

But I remember when I felt stuck in the middle, I looked around and saw my children surrounding me. This was an amazing moment to me.

I was being "attacked" by someone I didn't even know and suddenly I had my own little "army" of people ready to protect me.

A powerful feeling.

Truth is...

People are going to believe what they want to believe.

I only got involved because I was the only adult around.

I saw the truth and I told the truth.

But that doesn't seem to matter.

Truth is...

That hurts. "Truth Hurts."

It does.

And just when I thought things were getting better, more

truth came along and caused more pain.

Truth is...

I know the truth.

I also know that God has blessed me with an amazing husband and children.

I know that I have 2 special weekends coming up.

I am so looking forward to these weekends.

Leave the drama that I don't need and I don't want behind.

Cameron is growing so quickly! He is amazing!

He smiles and he already "coos."

He eats all the time and sleeps when I hold him.

I have his cradle right next to me in our bedroom, but that's not good enough for him. He doesn't just want my hand and my voice, he wants the whole package. And I don't mind.

I know he will be grown before I know it.

And I know I will miss these days.

I will miss his little bald head.

I will miss the way his little hands and feet rub against my skin.

And it's a wonderful feeling when you know they are so comfortable and feel so loved that they feel safe enough to fall asleep in your arms.

They feel protected.

Sarah loving Cameron



Wisconsin

"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs,

and returns home to find it."

Our family just got back from our annual trip to Wisconsin.

Our children had a lot of fun swimming, boating/tubing, golfing, and just hanging out with their cousins.

We've been doing this for many years and I have enjoyed watching my nieces and nephews grow up. I am so glad my children know their cousins and get to spend this time with them.

4th of July was spent playing volleyball at the lake with a firepit and live band. The fireworks were awesome!

Then we went back to the place we were staying and my brothers helped all the children do their own show with bottle rockets and such.

The scariest moment this year was when my nephew opened up the door so some of us could go to the "other side" of the place we stay and there was a bear right there in our yard. At first we all thought he was joking when he shut the door and announced that there was a bear. But then we all saw him through the window. After that night, no one was allowed to cross over alone in the dark. We found flashlights and made sure we made lots of noise.

On our last day we did our trip to the big candystore in Hayward.

Our children got to each pick out a pound of candy (Tommy too) and I gathered

up a bunch of taffy to bring home to share with our neighbors.

That night we went to mass and out to dinner. The restaurant had a live band in the bar area. The dance floor was filled with children dancing - including a few of our family members. It was a lot of fun - a great ending to our family trip.

The drive home was long, but it was nice that we all could fit into our new 12-passenger family van aka "The Church Van."

(The name it received in Wisconsin.)

We stopped at one restaurant for a late lunch. They gave us the long table right by the entrance. 3 different customers came up to us as they were leaving. They told us that we had a beautiful family and that we should be proud of how well-behaved they are.

Again, love to hear that from people and love to have our children hear that.

Our trip home was filled with some sadness.

While we were gone, our wonderful kitty Moose passed away.

We gave him a nice little funeral the day after we got home.

Our children decorated his cardboard casket and his body is now buried between our fruit trees in our garden. Moosey will be greatly missed. He was very loving and let our children crawl all over him. He was like a big baby. When you held him, he'd wrap his paws around your neck.

Best cat ever!

 Rachel & Moosey