Ugliness

"Those who flaunt their ignorance are best left ignored."

Yesterday started out well. I had another NST and Baby looks wonderful. This time I was prepared with the m&m's. My doctor thinks that I will go full term with this pregnancy. I really hope so. The NICU is a wonderful caring place, but not somewhere I want to be if I don't have to be.
By the end of the day I was stunned. A little conflict between 2 of my young boys and other boys up the street grew into an outburst by a grown man. Here I am 33 wks pregnant and have the father of these boys yelling at me on my front step - with his hand in my face. Thankfully I had my friend who lives across the street in my yard too. We both knew the truth of what happened earlier and backed each other up. We stayed strong and we stayed calm. I was pretty proud of us.
The truly amazing thing I got from it all was just how clearly I saw this man when he started yelling. When you lose control, your ugly side certainly comes out. At first he was fine, but as soon as I spoke up and was explaining to him what actually happened, he got loud and "ugly" to me. My ears heard his voice, but it was my eyes that really took over. Suddenly I noticed the deep lines on his face more clearly and when he turned away and put his hand in front of my face, all I could focus on was how out of shape he looked. This may sound silly or mean, but it is the truth. I saw how weak he was. Nothing he said made any sense. He was throwing out things that had nothing to do with the situation we were talking about. He was in total denial and was basically calling us liars. For a moment I stared at his youngest son's face. So innocent looking. A handsome little boy. I felt sad for him and sad that there were little ones around us having to witness this. I calmly asked this man to stop talking to me in the way he was - and my friend calmly told him that he should probably just leave. We are mothers and will protect our children, but we are not ones for confrontations like this.
Am I a perfect mother? Are my children perfect? No. I don't personally know anyone who is perfect. I do my best and raise my children to be respectful and kind. I want to know when one of them does do something that is inappropriate so I can teach them how to be a better person.
Our children do not belong to me and my husband - they belong to God.
Tom and I are responsible for them - and we are very blessed.