Baby or not Baby

"In raising my children I have lost my mind but found my soul."

Yesterday I had a lot of "practice" contractions. Leah kept smilimg and asking if the baby was coming. She is so excited! Two of the contractions got pretty painful last night - now I remember why I get the epidural.
Sarah and Leah like to feel the baby move. Sarah likes to show off her tummy and say "baby." Hopefully I'm not confusing her too much. Rachel and Noah were watching baby move around. I love watching their reactions. They would poke at the baby and the baby would push right back. It was like a game. The whole pregnancy is triggering more curious questions from my 10 year old Ethan - and when I talk to my oldest, Brandon, I realize just how much he already knows...I can't believe that I'll be sending Brandon off to college the same year I send this little one to kindergarten.
Today Brandon was commenting on how he can't believe our family is having another baby soon. He says it feels like yesterday that he found out that I was pregnant with Sarah. He still remembers watching Open Season and coming into the kitchen to find me standing there with tears in my eyes. He looked at me and asked what was wrong. I told him nothing's wrong. As soon as I looked at Brandon he asked me if I was pregnant. I just smiled. He can read me very well for a kid. The day I found out that I was pregnant I received a special letter in the mail. I took the test that morning and that afternoon I got a letter I had written to myself a few months earlier. At the end of my letter I had asked for strength to accept any other "blessings" God might give me and Tom. Tom and I had been discussing children. God has incredible timing.
This time, we waited until Christmas morning to tell all our children about our newest member coming. I don't know what I was expecting, but they were all pretty shocked and quiet when we told them. We had 3 pickles hidden on the tree. One was for a big "boy" gift - mini fridge for the loft - and one was for a big "girl" gift - dollhouse. The third one was for their new sibling. I think it was Noah that pretended to faint. It's on video. We really need to get all of our videos in order so we can enjoy them.
As for when Tom and I found out about this newest blessing...it was on December 8th. A special day - the day of Mary's Immaculate Conception in the Bible. I was supposed to have surgery that week and I just felt like I needed to take a home pregnancy test. I wasn't late, just feeling "different". I took the test without telling anyone. Tom was still home, so he was a bit concerned when I came out of the bathroom crying and shaking. He went outside to shovel the driveway and sidewalk while the shock settled. He came in and we hugged. We can do this. I felt even better about it that night. I went to mass by myself - saw many of my "Bible Girls" there, but didn't tell anyone. A few told me they were praying for my surgery to go well that week. I did tell them that I had to postpone it - they assumed it was because I had a terrible cold I was still trying to get over. Mass was all about Mary accepting the blessing the angel was telling her she was receiving. Her courage. Her strength. Her faith. Every word meant more to me this evening than any of the many other times I had heard the story. In the last couple of years I have felt closer to Mother Mary. After mass I stayed for the special rosary being said for all the unborn.
Well, Sarah just woke up and crawled onto my lap to cuddle - and baby is "practicing" again. Ow. We're just taking it easy today. We sat outside this morning and the girlies played in the kiddie pool while Brandon mowed the front lawn. During nap time we rested while the boys watched The Dark Knight. Tom is off playing golf. It is a fundraiser for our neighbor's son who we've been praying for. I am going to meet Tom for the dinner after. My parents will be here to watch our children for us. It's nice that my parents can come visit us so often from Iowa. Sarah was born 6 1/2 weeks early - it happened to be the same week my parents were visiting before they went overseas on vacation. Timing. I've explained to this little one that Grandma and Grandpa will be back in August...no need to hurry.