Easter 2012

"Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. One day you might wake up and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars."

It took over a week to get my results.

Things look the same as last time, but now they have all the numbers they need.

I will go back in 6 to 9 months for another echo then we will go from there.

We had a nice Easter.

Our family went to church for confession the week before.

On Good Friday we went to our church for the Stations of the Cross done by the Youth Group. Our children Ethan and Rachel sang with the choir. The Youth Choir always sounds so beautiful.

Then on Sunday we celebrated Jesus' Resurrection, Easter.

Our children woke us up early - with coffee in bed - and waited for

Tom and I to come downstairs before digging into their baskets.

After checking out their goodies, we got ready for mass. We were able to walk to church. The weather was beautiful and we were actually ready to go early enough that we had time to walk.

Monsignor's Homily was very good. He talked about Heaven and how it is a place we all want to get to someday, but understandably, none of us are in a hurry to get there. That is because or our relationships we have here on Earth.

So true.

The people in our lives should be the most important part.

And just a personal "vent" just to get this out of my head...

I was just browsing on Facebook while nursing Cameron.

I read one of the most disturbing things I have ever read.

Someone posted an article about abortion.

There was a quote about someone wishing to speak to all the babies killed ever since abortion was made legal.

One of the replies after that was "Well then you'll have to travel to hell first because that's where all the unsaved go."

Why would someone say that? I was so upset by that statement. Is it all just a joke? One woman wrote about having a mass hysterectomy day just so women can have control over their own bodies. Ok - That's a bit extreme.

Just disturbing.

Cameron is snuggled in my arms right now.

He is getting so big - and it is all "me."

Cam refuses to eat anything! All he wants is to nurse.

He will "gag" on cereal, fruit,...I got him to eat two bites of yogurt yesterday. Today he took one little bite and no more.

He is growing and doing well so I'm trying not to worry. I will just try a little something with him every day.

He is standing and cruising along our furniture.

He will be walking before we know it!

Cameron's Prayers

"God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer."

Wednesday was a busy day.

Woke up to wish our oldest child a very happy 16th birthday!

He's a wonderful son. He even let me put a candle in his waffle.

Then I was off for my Heart Echo and Stress tests.

Tom took me.

I don't do well going to the doctor. I'm kind of a mess.

I was nervous - always am.

Anyways, Tom took Jacob and Cameron to the cafeteria while I did my tests.

The ladies that did my test were great. Very friendly and made me feel very comfortable. I will get the results next week.

While I was doing my test Tom called the pediatrician to make an appointment for our 9 mth old Cameron.

Cameron had had a fever for a couple of days, but acting fine. Then at around 2:00 am Wednesday, his fever went to 104.6. He was crying and couldn't eat.

(I nurse him.) You could tell he wanted to eat, but he just couldn't.

I called the emergency pediatrician number and spoke to a doctor.

He told me I could give a little more medicine, but if the fever went over 105 I should take Cam to the ER. Otherwise, make an appointment for the next day.

The little bit more medicine worked and Cam's fever went down.

Tom told me he got a 2:30 appointment.

We went to the store then went home to hang outside in the

beautiful 80 degrees and wait for Sarah to get home.

While we were outside I heard our phone ring. I went in and whoever had called had hung up. I looked at caller ID and saw that it was our pediatrician's office.

I was hoping there had been a cancellation and we could go earlier so I called them back. The receptionist told me that no one had called that she was aware of. I told her how I had hoped it was for an earlier time, but that we'd be there at 2:30. She put me on hold then came back to tell me that we were not down for an appointment in their office. Our appointment had been made for a different office - one much further away. When Tom couldn't find the phone number, he just redialed the one I had called at 2:30 in the morning. That's the emergency number at night and the other office during the day.

So she said she'd call the other office and cancel for me and she had an appointment with Cam's regular doctor at 1:30.

I think a little angel had made our phone ring.

So we took Cameron to the doctor.

They took a blood sample and a urine sample.

Poor little guy.

The urine was fine, but would be sent for culture.

The blood showed a high white blood count.

The highest normal is 11,000. Cameron's was 27,000.

The doctor sent us to the hospital for more tests.

(I would like to note here...don't google symptoms!!!)

At the hospital, we had an x-ray of Cam's chest done, a nasal swab for viruses, and more blood drawn. I tried very hard not to cry through all of this, but I did lose it a little. Especially when the nurse taking his blood said, "Wow that's high!" when she heard his blood count. She even expressed just how high that was when another nurse came in to help.

We left and picked up an antibiotic for Cameron.

They wanted to start one just in case.

I dropped off Tom and Jakey and Sarah at home.

It was Brandon's birthday so Tom wanted to get the grill started.

We were making Chicago Style Hot Dogs. Yum.

I kept Cam with me and went to Sarah's preschool to her conference.

Sarah is an August baby so we aren't sure if we should hold her back or send her to Kindergarten.

Right before walking in, Cam's doctor called. All tests were negative so far.

I would hear more the next day.

On Thursday, Cam's doctor called me in the morning.

Still nothing, but wanted me to come in the next day to check Cam's white blood count again. He was leaving town, so he updated another doctor.

So today is Friday and I took Cameron in.

All tests came back negative, his fever is gone, and his white blood count is back to normal.

God is good :o)

I believe our prayers were heard and answered quickly.

I think God knows I just couldn't handle anymore.

Now I wait for my results and pray they are good too.

Cameron

Cardiologist

"Remember this. When people choose to withdraw far from a fire, the fire continues to give warmth, but they grow cold. When people choose to withdraw far from the light, the light continues to be bright in itself, but they are in the darkness. This is also the case when people withdraw from God."

I met with my Cardiologist.

Tom went with me.

They did an EKG while I was there and checked my oxygen.

My blood pressure was back to where it normally is, so that was good.

I liked my doctor.

He was pretty relaxed about everything and wants to have another Echo done by another tech. This time I will have a stress test done too.

Tom and I felt a bit of relief after this visit.

My Tommy even had tears running down his cheeks when the doctor left the room. My husband is a very strong man and he didn't let me see how worried he has been. These tears were the ones he had been holding in so that I wouldn't get scared. He is my rock here on earth.

So next week I will go have the tests done.

My prayer is that my body is healthy so that I may be a good wife and mother.

I tease Tommy about my talks with God.

My body being made healthy again might be a "sign" that we

should add to our family - if it is God's will.

Tom would prefer I stop having these chats / thoughts :o)

He usually asks me how my bench is looking too.

We do love our children. Each one. Dearly.

Family is the most important "thing" here on earth to me.

I am thankful for what and who God has blessed me with.

Sometimes I read things on Facebook or on the internet that frustrate me.

Today there was an unkind opinion of people I feel I am part of.

There are groups that talk about caring about the health of women.

Possibly saving their lives.

That is all wonderful.

I agree that we should take care of ourselves.

We should take care of others.

And we should help each other out.

But then these groups also believe that life, that is just beginning, is a choice for them to make. How can one pray to God for their life to be healthy and continue to live on - while basically telling God that this other life is their choice? They want to have the right to decide whether or not that other life should continue to live on.
How can one ask for something they are not willing to give?

I don't understand.

Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.

How can one say their life is more precious than another?

At some point our life here on earth will end.

It's going to happen.

What is going to really matter then?

Tuesday

"Faith is not without worry or care, but faith is fear that has said a prayer."

Tuesday.

Tuesday I had my echocardiagram done.

I woke up early enough to help Tom get everyone ready for school then go to mass. Mass was a great way to start my day.

During the Homily, we were told that when we say the Our Father, we need to say it and feel it in our heart.

Since I was praying about my heart, that really stayed with me.

Backtrack - about a year ago a friend of mine asked me if I saw something by the Crucifix that hangs over the altar at our church.

I told her no and from then on I have been staring up there trying to figure out why she asked me that.

Well, on Tuesday, while we were all praying the Our Father, I saw it.

It was amazing!

I know many from my church read this, so I won't say what I saw just yet.

Why? Because I found it even more amazing that I didn't know what I was looking for - and then to hear that I saw what others have seen - made it more "special."

After mass I asked our Monsignor if he could say a blessing over me before I left for my test. He did. I still felt nervous, but better.

I left our church to go home and told God "Thank you."

I went home and sat down by Tommy on our couch.

After a moment, I smiled at Tom and whispered, "I need to tell you something."

He looked at me and I told him about how my friend had asked me awhile ago if I saw anything and how I had been looking ever since.

I told him that I saw it that morning.

Tom looked at me and said, "You saw ______."

I said, "Yes!!!"

I asked him if he had heard about it and he said no, but he had seen the same thing on Sunday while we were at mass. He was feeling very stressed that morning and when he looked up at our Crucifix, he saw the same as I had.

I had goosebumps all over.

I felt such joy.

So I went to my test knowing that God was with me and all would be ok.

But maybe not yet.

I got the call today.

There are some concerns with my heart and I will be seeing a Cardiologist next week. I am trying to stay calm and positive. Trying to not go "numb" so that I can still function as a mother.

I try to remember that this was found by "accident" and that maybe this

is just something I will go through and all will be ok eventually.

I pray for a good doctor.

I pray for him to make the right decisions.

I pray that all will be ok.

Florida

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies."

We loaded up our 8 children and drove to Florida for a week.

What a wonderful week!

I thought the drive might be hard, but it wasn't bad at all.

I was a little worried when our 4 year old asked us if we were almost there after 45 minutes, but she soon got involved with her siblings and accepted the fact that we would be in our van for 8 hours that day and 8 hours the next.

One of our stops along the way was in Alabama. We love Cracker Barrel.

Our children love to play checkers and it's nice to stretch while looking around the store. Plus, their food is wonderful!

When we told them there were 10 of us, they asked if we'd be willing to split up. They could seat us a lot quicker. They found us 2 tables that were diagonal from each other, so that worked.

I got a crayon from our 4 year old and scribbled a little note on a napkin.

Sarah ran it over to Tom. He read it then smiled and laughed a little as he picked up a crayon and responded back to me. We went back and forth a few times. We wished we were able to sit together, but this was at least making the situation fun.

After everyone was done eating, Tom got the bill and came up to me to tell me he was going to go pay it. Our waitress walked over to us and asked Tom for the bill. She said there was a mistake on it and she needed to change something. Tom jokingly told her it was ok if she was making it less :o)

Tom excused himself to go to the restroom while we waited for our waitress to come back. A few minutes later another lady that worked there came up to me. I think she was the manager. She told me that we didn't need to pay our bill. I was puzzled. And I admit that the first thing in my head was - Oh goodness! What was wrong with our food??? But then she smiled and said that our bill had been paid by another table and they had already left.

Wow. I was speechless. I just smiled and told her thank you - then came the tears. Our bill was not a small bill. Someone paid our bill without wanting us to know who they were. And the only thing they knew about us was what they had observed during the hour we were there.

Pretty amazing. So kind and generous.

And our children thought that was pretty special as well. They loved telling everyone about it.

Our trip was full of special memories.

I didn't realize how much I love the beach.

It was around 70 degrees, windy. Not really the ideal weather for going swimming in the ocean, but perfect for spending time with your family on the beach. We had the whole area around us to ourselves.

There was one day when we were burying Ethan in the sand. I had some granola bars with me so I said we should try to get a seagull to come take a piece off of Ethan's tummy. There weren't any seagulls around us so Noah went on a hunt. He took a piece of granola bar and went running down the beach yelling for the birds to come.

Suddenly, there were about 40 - 50 seagulls swarming us.

One went for the piece on Ethan and he jumped out of the sand.

I fell to the ground laughing so hard. Soon we had an audience.

Other people came over to see what was going on. They were all laughing along with us. These birdies were not shy. Our kiddos even started feeding them by throwing pieces in the air and the birds were catching the pieces.

Poor Jacob had birds within 2 feet of him, hoping to get a treat while he was eating his granola bar.

On the way home we stopped in Alabama again at the same Cracker Barrel.
This time I bumped into a lady in the restroom and she was very  kind to me.
She asked if I was the mother of the family with 8 children that was sitting next to her. I said yes. She told me how beautiful my family is and told me I was doing a great job.
In Nashville we stayed at a great hotel. In the morning I took 6 of our children down to breakfast. Leah had her plate full and almost backed into a gentleman. I quickly told her to be careful. I think the gentleman could see I was a little "overwhelmed" at the moment. He looked me straight in the eye and smiled and said "It's ok. She did nothing wrong. You are doing everything right."
I really think at moments like these two, God is having His angels speak to me through strangers. I feel like this is what God wants me to know.
And it feels good :o)

The week went by very quickly.

We had a wonderful time with my parents. A wonderful time with each other.

I hope we can make this a yearly trip.

Jakey on the beach

A Little Vent

"Just as there is one final drop that makes a glass overflow, there is one act of kindness that makes the heart overflow. That is the moment when a friendship has been formed."

Happy St. Valentines Day!

I am happy to say that Thomas is still my Valentine and our children are what love has done.

One of my new favorite sayings from Pinterest :o) Look what our love has done - written over a picture frame.

It has been awhile since I have written. So much going on. Lots of illnesses going on. But that's how it works right? I swear we don't see a doctor for months and then all of a sudden we are there a couple days a week for a couple of weeks. Lots of coughing, fevers, and tummy issues.

I went to convenient care for myself last week. I could not take the pain anymore.

I actually called my husband from the parking lot to see if I should really bother. He told me to go in and take care of myself. So I did.

I wish there was a different place I could go. Last time I went to this place I felt the nurse was rude. And again, I got another rude nurse.

The nurse asked me to give her a number between 1 and 10 to rate my pain.

I said a 7. She put her pen down and looked at me and said, "Really? A 7?"

She looked at Cameron who was sleeping in his car seat and said, "Let's say giving birth is a 10. Now rate your pain."

So I said if giving birth is a 10 then maybe I am a 5.

She said, "That sounds better. Giving birth is painful - which you know. I have 2 children. I did it twice! It was painful."

(Picture me with a little smirk on my face.)

I looked at her and told her that Cameron is my 8th child. I've done it 8 times.

The nurse stopped writing and just looked at her paper and said, "You have 8 children?" Then she looked at me and said, "You know you can prevent that."

Wow. Why do some people think they have a right to make comments like that?

How can you look at my child and tell me I could have prevented "that."

I was so disgusted. She then told me that I couldn't complain about how painful it was since
I chose to keep doing it.

I reminded her that I didn't complain.

And made it clear that I would not have wanted to prevent any of my children.

I love each one of them.

What nerve. I wish I hadn't been in so much pain at the time.

But I just might go grab a sheet when I go back in to write some comments about my visit and Nurse Corinne.

Anyways, so the doctor did find a sinus infection and a heart murmur.

Tomorrow I will go in to have my regular doctor listen to my heart to see what he thinks.

Of course, my anxiety is high.

But my doctor's nurse told me over the phone not to worry about it.

I'm trying.

God's hand

"Faith is not without worry or care, but faith is fear that has a prayer."

Today I had a moment.

A moment of sadness and fear, then peace. 

I have been going through a lot of emotional issues lately.

Lots of changes going on around me.

Lots of uncertainty.

I was sitting on our couch with little Cameron on my lap.

My mind was filled with worry.

My eyes were filled with tears.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I knew I needed to calm down and rely on my faith.

Then I felt a very light touch on my lips.

I kept my eyes closed and just took in the comfort I felt.

When I opened my eyes, Cameron's big beautiful blue eyes were looking straight into my eyes. His little fingers were gently going across my lips.

I whispered, "Oh my gosh...Thank you."

The feeling was so strong.

It was as if the hand of God was touching me.

That is all I could think.

Cameron's little hand was created by God.

It is God's hand.

Cameron's little touch
was reminding me of what is important in life.