Tuesday

"Faith is not without worry or care, but faith is fear that has said a prayer."

Tuesday.

Tuesday I had my echocardiagram done.

I woke up early enough to help Tom get everyone ready for school then go to mass. Mass was a great way to start my day.

During the Homily, we were told that when we say the Our Father, we need to say it and feel it in our heart.

Since I was praying about my heart, that really stayed with me.

Backtrack - about a year ago a friend of mine asked me if I saw something by the Crucifix that hangs over the altar at our church.

I told her no and from then on I have been staring up there trying to figure out why she asked me that.

Well, on Tuesday, while we were all praying the Our Father, I saw it.

It was amazing!

I know many from my church read this, so I won't say what I saw just yet.

Why? Because I found it even more amazing that I didn't know what I was looking for - and then to hear that I saw what others have seen - made it more "special."

After mass I asked our Monsignor if he could say a blessing over me before I left for my test. He did. I still felt nervous, but better.

I left our church to go home and told God "Thank you."

I went home and sat down by Tommy on our couch.

After a moment, I smiled at Tom and whispered, "I need to tell you something."

He looked at me and I told him about how my friend had asked me awhile ago if I saw anything and how I had been looking ever since.

I told him that I saw it that morning.

Tom looked at me and said, "You saw ______."

I said, "Yes!!!"

I asked him if he had heard about it and he said no, but he had seen the same thing on Sunday while we were at mass. He was feeling very stressed that morning and when he looked up at our Crucifix, he saw the same as I had.

I had goosebumps all over.

I felt such joy.

So I went to my test knowing that God was with me and all would be ok.

But maybe not yet.

I got the call today.

There are some concerns with my heart and I will be seeing a Cardiologist next week. I am trying to stay calm and positive. Trying to not go "numb" so that I can still function as a mother.

I try to remember that this was found by "accident" and that maybe this

is just something I will go through and all will be ok eventually.

I pray for a good doctor.

I pray for him to make the right decisions.

I pray that all will be ok.