Lights in the Dark

"Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?"

Today.

Today we took Noah to his annual appointment with his Neurologist. It went ok.

Noah opened up to us about the words he feels the need to say - not good words. He could hardly tell us through his tears. He felt so bad. But we explained to him that it's not his fault and we will do everything we can to get him through this. His physical tics have continued as well.

Noah has now been diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome.

Tonight.

Tonight our family went to our church.

Tom and I went to our Couple's Bible Study while our children went to the childcare rooms.

Cameron was with me and Tom. Cam started crying, so I left the room to walk around with him. I was singing to Cam, trying to calm him down. I sat down on a pew in the Narthex. I was thinking about how overwhelming things feel sometimes. I was looking through the windows into the church, staring at the altar. It was dark.

I was nursing Cam when I thought - it would be amazing if all of a sudden a light shined inside the church. Then I thought - it would be amazing, but also a little "scary." Would I be able to handle a sign like that?

After a very short moment, our priest (Monsignor) walked in the front door and walked by me in the Narthex. He was talking on his cell phone, but stopped for a second and said "Hi Chris." Then he opened the glass door and turned on the lights in the church.

I just sat there with Cam.

I stared at all the lights suddenly on in the church through the windows.

I whispered - "Whoa."